July 7th
Here we are writing this blog, thinking about many things that could make sense or not. The people around these parts of town are nocturnal. The city doesn’t sleep. People don’t know how to cry anymore. I sit here listening to Otaku on NTS, reminiscing on how it used to be in Greece with familiar habits. I say familiar because my subconscious is so accustomed to things that used to feel good; doing good for others was something I was accustomed to. Moving right along, a lot has happened in my life as I place what is important in the forefront, a job, my sanity, balancing peace of mind, and of course creation of beautiful things. I’m daring myself to go to Japan for my birthday. I almost don’t believe I can do it, as I take a deep breath, I try and breathe enough these days to realize that it’s not that bad. I mean that in the sense that I live in a transitional living space and have somewhere to lay my head, a shower, and a space to facilitate my paintings. I appreciate Geoffrey and his whole concept of how B.O. operates.
Social Media is in a frenzy where competitive images and words aren’t enough; you have to be obsessive to make your name in this generation. Pops used to tell me..hold on, pops used to tell me a lot whatever it was, it def meant something, anyways, one of my bucket list items is for sure deleting my social handles and only having this website to centralize my ideas and create a hub of ideas for you, the viewer to look in one place to understand what the fuck I’m doing.
I’ve been highly unmotivated these days, shifting from wanting to stare at a screen to thinking negatively about everything. Sometimes I hate the world, sometimes I want the world to know who I am, there are times when I wanna hide from the world and happen to be found like how a worm or ant conceals themselves, and when they are found, what is seen is where they are, when it revealed, I want the world to know as least I am staying active. Speaking of activity, Nightshade (my bike) is my most trusted companion, we almost hang out every day, we go places, and yeah, I guess I have a lot to say these days. I’m currently working on 3 big canvases, I wanna say that I know the direction of them, but then again, looking at them, I’m just existing with them and illustrating my emotions through gestures, and colors. (shrug emoji) I can say wholeheartedly that all I can feel at this point is gratefulness, grateful for being able to take the time to feel completely, spatial expression, shelter, in a sense, to facilitate my existence as a creature on this planet. I’m all over the place, I’m looking into how I can catch myself doing it (like now) and how to deal with it (Mike it’s chill, we all get carried away) I recently saw Solaris from Tarkovsky and feel like there is hope in this world as a painter to create a world of beautiful poetic expression.
I want to hope that I will finish these canvases but the end of the month, let’s see :)
